We discussed the situation. The dreams. The frustration. My love for him. My confusion with the other. Why the other and I are so perfect for each other and why it's not right. Where I am. Where I should be. How to fix the hurt. To own up to my mistakes with him. To apologize. To forgive him. To forgive me. To accept our differences. To let go.
We discussed new options. New ideas. Being open minded. Trusting Him.
And the other shows up. his lies pollute my mind. he tries his hardest to guide me to unknown territory. he makes me remember the pain. the failure. the memories.
After replaying those memories. After re-feeling those memories. After hashing out every detail. I ask for help from Him. I beg for his guidance and revelation to help me. He reminds me of His everlasting mercy and promises. I feel peace.
So tomorrow I will wake up and He and I will swim some more and work on the next thing. It won't be easy. But in order for me to be securely anchored in Him, I need to change. To let go. A brighter future is in store." [May 2014]
A Brighter Future
Your mind is what's the matter
Satan is the hold
When he wants you not to be bold .
You, a child, have power untold.
Tell him to go away from you
or prepare for gods storm.
Those bullies were sent to hurt you
but you had the lords hand.
He is here once again
so ask and you will receive,
feel the love around you
and you can be revived.
His love now surrounds you
like a big hug.
Have all the strength inside you
to put this test aside
Here is your side to be alive.
~ Conner A. R.